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The Spider effect

Writer's picture: AmalAmal



Being a teenager has changed in 2024, from 50 years ago. The impact of social media, Internet gaming, have changed the style of how teenagers deal with their day-to-day life, decision-making, and building their personality. I have teched  myself as a parent, to try to open my mind, and my perspectives, to engage with new ways, of how to handle issues, or face challenges, as my kids are evolving, and changing all the time. Being a parents is very important in kids life, no one teaches you how to be a parent. You actually learn as you go, you meet someone, fall in love, and you become parent. There is no instructions, or manual, to tell you what is the right path, to mature yourself to become a parent. Kids are the light of tomorrow, teenagers are the hope of the future. If we manage to get closer, to try to understand, that they are different from us as parents, we might be able to succeed in taking them to a safe place in life. One day, as I was walking in the street, I have found flowers in front of my son's school, apparently, as it was a boys school, kids used to do some bullying among each other, and the strongest always try to win over the weakest. In this incident they pushed a boy, and car hit him, helicopter have been sent but they couldn't save the boy. One year before that, I wrote a very long letter to the school, telling them that some boys are not mature, and they need guidance. We don't go to school to feel macho, or who is the strongest or to perform small group as a gang. I still have the copy of the letter which didn't reach anywhere. I had a reply, that the they are monitored all the time, and the school doing their best to control their behaviour, but they cannot be 100% positively stopping fighting among boys, as it happened all the time. No, I don't think it has to end up that way. Parents and school, have duty to perform the character of a child. Allowing a boy to hit another boy or abuse him verbally or emotionally  or physically, is not very satisfying, or nourishing for the kids of the future.

 If we want to have healthy society, we need to do a little bit more effort, about bullying. If someone is taller than you, or bigger than you, he should always take your hand, lift you up if you fall down. If someone wear thick glasses, as his vision is not strong as you, or he's too shy to speak in class, you should always make him sit in the front, and so on and so forth. We human are here on earth, to help the vulnerable, and highlight the power of holding someone's hand, and show him the light. If a young man, decide to hit a boy because he believes he can, he needs to think twice, what he feel if he meet another boy, taller than him who decided to hit him.

 My son, when he was a very young kid, didn't like spiders, he used to have dreams or nightmares about spiders. He did not like, if they crawl on him, or see them walking at the bedroom walls. One day he faced his fears, as he went to his class, he find a spider on his desk, and he has used a notebook, and pushed it in the floor. And the teacher came to him and said, how could you do that to the spider, she forced him to bend down the floor, and try to pick up the spider off the floor. But the grey carpet was very hard to see through, as he wear glasses and it was very hard to find the spider, you can imagine how other boys reacted in class, but the teacher forced him to look for the spider, and take it to the grass outside. Was it necessary for the teacher to do that? I just wonder! Did she had to do that to this young man?. In this incident, the teacher cared more about the spider, than noticing how brave was that young man, trying to face his fears, and trying to moveout of the spider from his desk, so he can start his lesson. Sadly, as usual, my husband stopped me from having parent meeting with the teacher, to explain to her the circumstances surrounding the incident, and why my son acted this way, while she was defending the right of spider to have a happy life, she has forgot to notice , that there is a young man trying to be a man , among very toxic school environment. That’s why a boy has died, in the street, weeks after that. As the school fail to act, or notice ,what effects, and impact, bullying, comments, laughs, has on the future talented teenagers, in their way throughout their lives, to be fine young men, who care about others.

 What really broke me, is how my husband reacted, saying to me: “stop mothering the boy”, let him deal with his pain a loan , facing how to react to different situations in life”. Was my husband right? I wonder!. As I felt I have let down my son, by not seeing what he's really going through, as parents we should be holding our kid's hand to safety.



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